Ma Chere Memere

I wrote this poem for my grandmothers funeral as she passed away suddenly but peacefully on Oct. 27/2011. There is nothing more important than your elders, the connection you have with them, the lessons they teach you and the memories you share. RIP Therese Rhea Croteau. Our love to you forever. 

Words cannot say

The pain we feel today.

We knew you were fragile

But thought we still had a while.

You lived to the fullest

Each and every day.

You gave of your life your best

In each and every way.

You are with God now.

And your body is resting.

Someway, somehow,

We will move away from the sting

Of you taking your final bow.

Thank you for all your love,

Your legacy of artwork,

Your time and joy,

Your support and advice.

You always laughed and smiled,

“Now now there dear,

No more crocodile tears.”

As I stand here I still find it hard to believe you are gone.

You lived a full life and for that I thank God.

On t’aime memere,

Notre belle memere.

May your soul rest in peace. 

Princess With No Throne

Oh, how I know this feeling.
Somehow I'm down, I'm kneeling.
Arms crossed, I know its the end.
Ironically even before the beginning.
It's a trend.
Its a pattern I despise.
I ask only to spare me your lies.

Do not call me princess.
How dare you possess
the audacity to dress
me up like a doll
and then stall.
I was having a ball
till you told me you'd call
and you didn't.

Oh how I know this smell,
It's old and stale, the definition of hell.
I thought we connected so well.
I thought you saw through my shell.
Once again, I fell.
One day, I will not kiss and tell.

Until next time, good luck on your journey.

My only wish is that you do some learning.

Get Over It

This is dedicated to all those people stuck in codependent relationships, or who are having a hard time getting over a relationship that was unhealthy.

What about "over" do you not get?
Why for the past do you so fret?
Why not choose a new set?
I promise you its better to forget.
Your future awaits you, get ready, get set...
It's been over, its been done.
Get over it.

What about "no" means yes?
What about this is not a mess?
Why do you think you deserve less?
Alright, I confess.
I'm over it. Your turn.
Get over it.

Why are you so focused on the past?
Not all good things are meant to last..
Especially when they are lived half-assed..
Go ahead, you can do it, take off the cast..
Do it, like a band-aid, and do it fast.
Until you do, your sails will be half-massed.

Set them to sail.
Get out of your self-inflicted jail.
Get over it.

Haterade

Sip, sip, sip away.
While  you sip, I will work.
While you sip, I will seek.
While I seek, I will find.
I will clear my mind.

Sip, sip, sip to your hearts content.
While you sip, I will love.
While you sip, I will laugh.
While you sip, I will smile.
I will be happy.

Sip, sip, sip, be careful not to drip.
While you sip on your poison,
While you drink your toxic waste,
While you stagnate with hate, you fuel my fire.
So sip, sip, sip away to your hearts desire.

Would you like another glass?
You do not drink alone.
We are all in the same class.

While you hate, I will move forward.
So get the FUCK out of my way.

Anonymous

I am a local but a nobody.
You don't know my name.
I do not need anybody.
My life is not your game.
I'm trying to become somebody.
Yet I do not seek fame.

Small pools bear me no comfort.
I need room to stretch my legs.
I don't like to be reminded of past hurt.
Confine me and I will beg.

I am everyone yet no one.
Thats how I like it.
Recognition is like aiming a gun.
Upon being sighted I flee, I fight it.
My identity is known only to the sun.
My anonymity is my saviour.
I will protect it.

The Nomad

To travel is to live.
It's to give.
An energy exchange
of all things strange.
For it I always yearn.
Endless lessons to learn.

To wander is to breathe.
Without it I grieve
as if mourning a loss.
So is the cost
of settling down,
of being bound.

To move is to refresh.
Everything before it must cess.
A new life is begun
and only the sun
knows who you are,
knows you come from a far.

To travel is to roam,
like the rolling stone,
I am alone.
I gather no moss.
For some, this is my loss.
For me, this is to grow.
How much?
Only I will ever know.

Indonesiaku

Indonesiaku, the rumours are true,
I love you.

Indonesiaku, the predictions are blue,
I miss you.

Indonesiaku, to all my crew,
I thank you.

Every moment spent was enjoyed to the fullest
Every night out had its amazing memories
Every person in some way has left a print

To die for scenery,
Stunning and endless beaches,
Delicious and savoury food,
Love-themed music industry,
Crazy dope fashion scene,
Silly sense of humour,
Always up for a gag,
Unforgettably warm and genuine people,
The definition of kind,
I will never fully have you out of my mind.

                                Indonesiaku/hatiku/cintaku.

Blood is thicker than...?

There is no pain deeper
There is no love more pure
There is no story more complicated
Nothing thicker than blood.

There is no hurt sharper
There is no pride fuller
There is no relationship more complex
Nothing harder than working it out.

Why do we hurt each other so easily?
Why do we love each other so endlessly?
So well yet so horribly?
I will never know.

Why is it so hard to break the patterns?
Why do I fall so quickly into traps?
When will I stop fuelling the fire?
The hypocrisy is loving so deeply and fully
what hurts you the most.

Mungkin Nanti/Maybe later

Maybe later I'll be ready
Maybe later I'll be waiting
Maybe later I'll be hurting
Maybe later, maybe not...

Maybe later you'll love me
love me like you should have
love me like I needed you to
Maybe later, maybe not..

Maybe later you'll be happy
Maybe later you'll be loving
someone else who makes you happy
Maybe later, maybe not...

Maybe later I'll be over this
Maybe never I'll regret this
Maybe always I'll love you
Maybe always, maybe not.

Toi, je t'attends

Toi, qui n'arrive jamais à l'heure
Mais qui me rends toujours de bonne humeur,
Mon coeur brise car je ne te vois pas...
Allez-vite! Dépêche toi.


Toi, qui m'aimes juste pour moi
qui feras quoique ça soit,
pour me faire plaisir jour et soir...
Où es-tu? Je ne sais pas...
Allez-vite! Montre toi.

Toi, pousses toi, parles moi.
J'aimerais bien te connaître.
C'est à toi de me permettre
De montrer mon coeur plein d'amour
Tu le verras un jour...
Allez-vite! Ne me fais pas des tours.

Toi, n'ai pas peur, je ne mords pas...
Je te jure, je serai sympa.
C'est pour toi que mon coeur bat.
Ensemble nous voyagerons...
Allez-vite, rejoins moi.

Je t'attends.

Love unquestionably, yet questionably loved

This poem was written around the same time that George Bush was starting the  war in Iraq. Yes haha its a poem about George Bush! haha

Oh how I am loved!
Loved by my many followers
Oh how well I reach out to them!
Through my words, I pat their backs.
I take their hands and lead them.
Lead them against the facts.
Against all odds.

Oh how I am loved!
Loved by those who ignore.
Ignore the norm of ignorance...
Denying the presence thereof.
Never questioning my holy words
I have shown then the way.
While they tuck themselves in at night
They sleep soundly, for they've earned it!
Earned the right to be further manipulated.
Oh how great it is to be loved!

Oh how great it is to be loved!
Loved by those that matter
Loved by those that don't
Question your neighbours I tell you!
The enemy is everywhere!
I create him, I invite him to dinner.
All the while, I protect you from him.
I am your saviour, this is my purpose from God.
He loves me as you do.

Do not say I am not loved.

Fear

To be scared is to breathe
To be scared is not to breathe
I am as scared not to breathe
as I am scared to breathe.

To be scared to do
To be scared not to do
I am scared not to do enough
but I'm too scared to do anything at all.

I am scared to fail
I am failing because of my fear
As my fear wins
I lose.
But is it a competition?
Is it one or the other?

My anger

boxed in yet shut out
turned on but rejected
provoked but out for the count
helpless and isolated
screaming yet muted by tears

stirred up and confused
used and abused

hatefully in love
unable to see the dove

Thin Lines

anger

happiness

sanity can be lost.

love

pain

but at what cost?

exactly what is the line?

or how much time is enough?

is too much?

is too little?

all is well.

all is great.

one word, one sentence.

all sanity is lost.

Dear Hatred,

Oh how blindly you takeover

How deeply in my veins you run...

How underestimated you are..

I hate your presents.

You are unwelcome within me..

How do i fall prey?

Now hatred,

When I meet you in other people,

It saddens me so

It breaks my heart to know

How present you are in the outside world.

How can i see you in some people's eyes?

How do you reach so many people?

Go hatred!

Leave I said!

You are not welcome.

As your presence reeks of filth.

You are killing our souls.

And eating out the core of our lives.

How do you feel to know

You are the biggest loser of all?

Everyone HATES you. 

Dear Love,

I've waited for you.
I'm waiting for you.
I need you to arrive,
Yet I dont want you to.
The fickle agents who bring you
have turned me away.

Oh love....
I've came close to you
but missed you by a mile.
In turn, I've waited awhile
dealing with empty agents who only fool me.
They have turned me off.

Now love,
I believe in you
very deeply I do
But you seem to be avoiding me.
My heart bursts with you.
It pains me to meet the empty souls you call men,
and know that they will be the bearers of your gifts.

I will continue to wait.
Patiently wait.
I'm in no rush.
I don't want you.
I only need you.

Open Wounds

When the soreness in my eyes
matches that of my heart,
I know things have gone too far.

When life weighs down
so heavy I can't breathe,
I know things have become too hard.

I feel like I couldn't take
one more thing in my life
without crumbling completely.

There is no answer.
There is no solution.

Only time can heal
my open wounds.

Time and love.
Love and time.

Loving time but hating it too.
How dare you let all slip away.
How dare you march on without my say.
I needed you to wait.. just a bit longer..

Oh how you've hurt me through time.
Oh how I've been hurt over the years.
It is too much. I have no more words.
Only tears.

Grams

Her tumor is my tumor.
However, hers is of the lung
and mine is of the heart.
For neither of which there is a cure.

Deep inside of me, I feel its hole.
The numbness of time and its growth.
This Cancer's cancer is my cancer
blocking the nerves of my soul.

The worsening condition.
My aunts dire ambitions
are all becoming washed out
with unstoppable time and its growth.

Her tumor is mine
As we all vie for time,
we pray she'll be fine.

Although our love is pure,
sometimes there just is no cure.

RIP Elsie Lily McNiven. I love you and miss you. Forever.

The Other

The rush,
the crush
of my heart.

The pain,
the game
without gain.

The lust,
I must
stop now.

But how?
Ow.

Oh, Thats how.